If Are you considering dating? Beware of these signs.
What does the future holds for you dating and possibly marrying someone that feed on strifes and fights?
This blog is part two of the series: “Intentionally Dating.”
*Reconsider if he/she has a history of starting strifes, drama, and rarely ends past relationships on reasonable terms or in peace.
As we all know, it takes the efforts and sacrifices of two (2) for any relationship to function in a practical, fruitful, and positive way. We are not responsible for anyone’s actions, words, and habits, but our own. Thus, it is hard often time to end a relationship on good terms even if we try our best to do so.
We all need more grace and mercy each day the Lord has allowed us to spend here on their earth. With that in mind, when considering we want to make life with until death seperates us apart, there are certain burdens we should not welcome in our lives just because we are “in love.”
The earlier in life, we understand that we cannot change people to make them fit into out bias, unhealthy and unrealistic expectations, the safer and better we are now and in the long run. As we dive into our blog today, remember this: Jesus is the Savior of the world, not you, me, nor the person you are dating now and possibly will marry. You cannot change him/her, you will never, and marriage will only magnify the issue you see now; that is a huge red flag, but because you are “in love,” you think things will get better…
With all of that out of the way, Happy reading!
I grew up in my grandmother’s farmhouse, which was also near the beach ( I know, weird). My mother had four siblings, two sisters and two brothers. We all lived under the same roof; all of my uncles and aunts had their quarters (it was a big house). As a preteen, I can recall the youngest of my uncles dated a girl named Nathalie from a big city that was quite far from where we lived in the province.
She came and lived in my uncle’s quarter, which was parallel to where I lived in my mother’s quarter, and we all in the whole house would quickly learn that Nathalie thrives on dispute and fight.
Almost every morning, I would wake up to hear her arguing and screaming at my uncle about something. Now, Nathalie was a beautiful and funny girl, and although I can remember times where she would comb our hair ( my sister, cousins, and I), telling us stories from where she grew up, and played with us, deep down, she had a very quarrelsome spirit. She would pick fight with girls in the neighborhood just for the fun of it or just because she knew she could physically overpower them.
She was among many who feed on the chaotic situation and discord so much, so they are pleased to start pointless arguments to keep a tense atmosphere. People with that kind of mindset are very controlling, jealous, and with no self-control over their actions or words.
One particular day during summer vacation, as I was playing in the yard with my friends, one of my cousins came running inside screaming that Nathalie had started a fight with a girl she suspected my uncle was cheating with the were together.
Long story short, the police had to come, and Nathalie almost went to jail; later that day, she and my uncle got into a fight of their own. Eventually, my uncle had to break off the relationship. No matter how beautiful, funny, or exciting someone might be, a spirit of discord, contempt, and quarrel will gradually poison any relationship. And apparently, almost all of Nathalie’s romantic relationships have ended the same way it did with my uncle. Not that my uncle was a saint.
Unfortunately, there are more emotionally unhealthy people out there than healthy ones. Most people deny or ignore their need for healing and closure because the truth is, we find it hard to admit that we are all broken somehow, if not in many different areas of our lives. The Bible says: “For everyone have sinned; we all fall short of God’s glorious standards.” Romans 3:23.
So we end up in a society where people from all social backgrounds and ages are looking in all the wrong places such as drugs, relationships, destructive life patterns or material possessions, searching for relief and meaning.
They have become restless and cannot seems to find peace in their souls and mind, so they crave chaos, and it seems that they will do anything to destroy what they cannot control or hold on to (whether it be something or someone). The very concept of stability and order is foreign to them, and they will take any opportunity to start or continue an argument.
As the Bible states in Proverbs 25:24, “Better to live alone in the corner of an attic than with a quarrelsome wife in a lovely home.” The same goes for a man as well.
- For these reasons and many more, what should a serious and responsible individual should do when it comes to daring? Well, the mature and responsible thing for each of us to do is to spend enough time being alone, getting to know ourselves, work through our flaws, weaknesses, habits, values, and career. When we know who we are, what we stand for, we avoid many heartaches and unnecessary turmoil while in a relationship.
In conclusion, it would be wise to reconsider getting involved in a relationship with such an individual, especially if a respectful, peaceful, and stable marriage is your end goal.While dating, one of your main goals should be to proceed with caution while being alert about the non-negotiable potential red flags no matter how hot, good looking, or friendly the individual is. Assuming you are dating intentionally and with the end goal in mind.
Hope this was beneficial to you,
Until next time,
With Love,
Krysty.
