Marching Toward Liberation
Breaking Free from Regrets and Missed Opportunities
Regrets and missed opportunities are like sticky cobwebs that weave themselves into the essence of our lives. They settle in and linger, haunting our thoughts and twisting emotions, too often preventing us from living boldly into the fullness of our potential.
Yet, there are many important truths that we all can learn from both ancient wisdom and biblical verses in terms of what it takes to march toward liberating oneself from the burdens of carrying these regrets and unfulfilled dreams.
Understanding the proper place and impact that our unfulfilled dreams and desires have in our lives is crucial to our mental, emotional, and spiritual well-being; the ancient Stoic philosopher Seneca once said, “We are more often frightened than hurt, and we suffer more from imagination than from reality.”
This emphasizes the power and role our minds play in shaping our perceptions of past mistakes. The stories we construct in our heads almost always magnify what we have established as regrets, followed by forming a thought pattern dwelling on what might have been or what we could have done differently.
The Bible provides great insights on how to release oneself from the imprisonment of regret. In Philippians 3:13–14, the apostle Paul writes, “But one thing I do: forgetting what lies behind and straining forward to what lies ahead, I press on toward the goal for the prize of the upward call of God in Christ Jesus.” So, what are we to do when we feel like we are being crushed, and bind by our past?
The wise and advantageous thing to do for ourselves is to decide with strong conviction and determination to focus on the present and future rather than dwelling on past regrets. Easier said than done, admittedly but with perseverance and a desire to not allow yourself to be repeatedly swayed from left to right by life’s circumstances, this is quite possible.
Here’s a quick formula for a Forward-Looking mindset
1. Focus on the present by Resetting and Renewing your mind.
In resetting your thoughts, keep in mind that you cannot control people, life’s circumstances, the stock market, and so on, but what you have absolute control over is you, and your thoughts. So, choose wisely what thoughts you will fuel while fighting for freedom from regrets.
2. Focus on the future by writing down your goals, and vision but also setting your thoughts on your creator God, and your Savior Jesus Christ. Ultimately, what God says about you is what matters most in the long run of things, and in Philippians 4:8 we have a clear map of what to not only think about but also what the will of God is for the content of your thinking.
“Finally, brethren, whatever things are true, whatever things are noble, whatever things are just, whatever things are pure, whatever things are lovely, whatever things are of good report, if there is any virtue and if there is anything praiseworthy — meditate on these things.”
Dwelling on the past only hinders our progress.
Our perceptions of regrets often stem from the opportunities we’ve missed and/or the decisions we wish we had made differently. However, let’s consider this ancient Chinese quote by Confucius “Our greatest glory is not in never falling, but in rising every time we fall.” The truth is, in reality, our setbacks and missed opportunities are not the end but rather potential occasions for growing and building resilience.
Let’s analyze the concept of time and opportunities from the Book Of Ecclesiastes; In Ecclesiastes 3:1–8, we have a beautiful illustration about the rhythm of life, emphasizing that there is a time for everything — a time to embrace and a time to refrain, a time to keep and a time to cast away.
Understanding this rhythm will provide the proper consolation or discernment, knowing that your missed opportunities were perhaps not meant for that specific time and that new opportunities will present themselves in due season.
Forgiveness in this process is imperative for both yourself and others. Forgiving yourself is a deep integral part of breaking free from the grip of regrets.
The Bible teaches in Matthew 6:14–15, “For if you forgive others their trespasses, your heavenly Father will also forgive you, but if you do not forgive others their trespasses, neither will your Father forgive your trespasses.”
Simply put, if the creator of the universe can forgive you, you ought to make it a habit to forgive yourself as well; Forgiveness allows you to let go and release the burden of resentment, envy, and condemnation.
Liberation from regrets and missed opportunities does not mean forgetting or erasing the past; You could not, even if you spend your entire life trying to accomplish that anyway.
Making peace with your missed opportunities and regrets involves accepting the lessons learned and putting them into practice, and gaining wisdom from the experiences, using them as stepping stones toward personal growth and fulfillment. Remember this quote from the Greek philosopher Epictetus, “We cannot choose our external circumstances, but we can always choose how we respond to them.”
The ties of regrets and missed opportunities will torture you and eventually will also cripple your ability to pursue your life’s purpose if left unaddressed.
So, do not allow yourself to be consumed by your past and get destroyed by your present, fight back!
XoXo, Krysty.
