Navigating the Seasons of Child-Bearing and Rearing
A Guide for Parents
As parents your parenting journey is deeply revolved around the concept of evolution and change; changes that unfold in distinct seasons, each with its own unique challenges, losses and blessings. Understanding these seasons can be the difference between getting to really enjoy your parenting journey as a parent or completely being phased for the entirety of it.
So, what could you possibly learn to help you navigate the complexities of child-bearing and rearing with better confidence and empathy?
These seasons, chronologically could be listed as such:
- Anticipation and Preparation
- Pregnancy
- Infancy
- Toddlerhood
- Preschool Years
- Elementary School Years
- Adolescence
- Teenage Years
- Young Adulthood
- Empty Nest
- Grandparents
From the moment you discover the miracle of life growing within you, your life will never be the same. Starting from anticipation and preparation all throughout the different stages of parenthood, the seasons tend to not stop; from self-discovery, adapting to physical changes, and preparing emotionally for the monumental shift that parenthood brings, life just keeps on moving and changing.
Oftentimes, it seems that you don’t even have the time to catch your breath, enjoy the moment within each season before another one rears its head and up you go again.
I will not bore you with a load of informations about each phase and what to expect while experiencing them, that what the What To Expect While You Are Expecting book is for; what I will attempt to do is to draw your attention on the temporality of child rearing, the limited and short period of time where for about eighteen years or so you give a chunk of your life to the raising of your children. Although this article is addressing parents,I will be specifically focused on mothers.
Being able to truly understand the significance, role and purpose of the season will enable you to not only be intentional and mindful but also appreciate the seasons with what each brings into your life and the life of your children. One of the reasons why I decided to become a Life coach for mothers was because of what I was seeing happening to mothers all over the country if not the world.
As a nanny and a family assistant with over ten years of experience working with private families, I was constantly seeing a pattern among mothers. The pattern of losing their sense of individuality and significance in their motherhood journey.
It is quite common to see empty nesters struggling to find meaning in their life after the season of child rearing is over, or to watch a mother battling with anxiety, depression and a loss of direction once her children move on to a more independent and self-reliant season of their lives.
They are stuck, because for more than a decade their entire lives was devoted to the rearing of children. It is a hard and sometimes painful adjustment parents find themselves in ,but nonetheless its a season like the others that must be lived, endured, and hopefully be enjoyed as well.
Let’s take a walk in the Book of Ecclesiastes. In chapter three verse one we read,“There is a time for everything, and a season for every activity under heaven”..
This harsh reality is what so many of us fail to understand and implement properly in our lives; that changes are the norm, not the exception.The bottom line is this: Regardless of the role you are fulfilling in your life, developing a sensitivity to what is temporary, what only last a season in your lifetime is the ultimate wisdom into facing life with all its different nuances, challenges and blessings.
As a parent, you know by now that no matter the season you are in with your children, and in your marriage, patience, consideration, healthy boundaries, love and forgiveness to only name these few, will almost always be required.
Experiencing the series of transitions in your parenting journey demands of you to be vulnerable with yourself, with your spouse and with your children, not doing so will only cause you to become stagnant and miss out on countless opportunities to learn, grow and mature as a family.
Life is ephemeral. Your parenting journey is not different, nor immune from the changing nature of the seasons of life. It will take intentionality and great discernment to know what season of life you are in as a parent, and function accordingly, the same goes for your children.
You will change, your children and life’s seasons will force you to evolve and transition to the next phase whether you like it or not. The challenge is to make the best out of what you have zero control and power over and in the process giving yourself grace.
Yes, you are more than just a parent, or a mother; and life does continue to go on after the children. The majority of your parenting responsibilities last for only eighteen years. Once your children leave for college and start a different season in their own life, you will be put in a position to start a different season as well.
So, do you know when you are right now as a parent in your journey?
Cultivate the art of being mindful while meditating on this fact of life from Ecclesiastes
For everything there is a Season..
A time to be born and A time to die.
A time to plant and A time to uproot.
A time kill and A time to heal.
A time to tear down and A time to build.
A time to weep and A time laugh.
A time to mourn and A time to dance.
A time to scatter stones and A time to gather them.
A time to embrace and A time to refrain.
A time to search and A time to give up.
A time to keep and A time to throw away.
A time to tear and A time to mend.
A time to be silent and A time to speak.
A time to love and A time to hate.
A time for war and A time for peace.
Love CoachKrysty.
